Jeanne's Surprise?
by xxxBayonettaHolic
Summary: Jeanne turned 600 and Bayonetta...is no where to be found? Rated T for future contents. I don't own any of the characters. Enjoy.
1. Red

**Summary:** This is what happened during Jeanne's 600th b-day

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters in this story. They all belong to Hideki Kamiya.

….

"Oh dear seems like mummy needs to tuck her naughty little angels in" Jeanne taunted the Affinity angels as she slapped them mercilessly with her guns.

Shots recoiled everywhere breaking pots, windows, and anything else you might find in Vigrid. Just a typical Friday afternoon with Jeanne and poor angels victim to her taunts. It was a day like this where Jeanne would question where her Umbran sister is. Normally she would shrug it off and continue fighting but today she thought it would be different considering it _is_ her birthday.

"Well, well I guess I'm going to have to clean up here" Jeanne commented to herself.

Jeanne shot, headshot after headshot at the Joys, Affinity, and Applaud angels dodging any attacks that were launched at her. Somehow killing angels didn't satisfy her today so she decided to head to The Gates of Hell in search of her Umbran sister.

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><p>"What can I do for you?" Rodin asked nonchalantly cleaning the rose shot glass.<p>

"I am here in search of Ce- er.. Bayonetta" Jeanne nonchalantly replied.

"Sorry haven't seen her all day "Rodin said, "If you happen to cross paths tell her I have her 'special' order".

"Well if I must" Jeanne answered with a hint of irritation in her tone.

Jeanne quickly teleported out of the bar and went in search of Bayonetta.

Unknown to her a surprise was waiting one she would never forget…

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay so..first chapter is up sorry for being so short. I'm working really hard on it. Reviews are appriciated and kinda needed because I really would like to see what I need to improve on. Thank you for reading. Hoped you, the reader, enjoyed.


	2. And

2nd chapter of Jeanne's Surprise '_And'_

"You motherfucker!" Jeanne screamed at the Ardors that came after her during her search.

Jeanne turned into a moth after one of the Ardors dashed towards her. She then appeared behind the Ardor and shot through its neck, blood bursting out of its throat . She targeted the other Ardor and went straight for its chest. Jeanne licked her lips as she pinned the Ardor to the ground. She then took out her blade 'Angel Slayer' and repeatedly stabbed the Ardor through its chest. Blood flew everywhere and some even splattered on Jeanne's face.

"Disgusting cretins! I have no time to play these mindless games" Jeanne exclaimed as she left the scene, taking the halos, and went back to her search.

'Where in the world can she possibly be?' Jeanne thought to herself getting even more irritated by the second. She's looked everywhere for Bayonetta nowhere to be seen. Then suddenly a plan struck her.

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><p>'The one person who has the amazing ability to locate Bayonetta anywhere in the world' Jeanne thought with a feeling that told her <em>this is not going to be good<em>. Now she has another person to find, but hey how hard is it to find a human?

Jeanne received her answer.

"Ugh, I need a drink" Jeanne said in defeat. Turns out finding a human in Bayonetta's tail was just as frustrating as trying to find Bayonetta herself. She made her way to The Gates of Hell where she hoped to relax and enjoy her birthday alone.

She made her way to the entrance of the bar but when she opened it…

_Darkness filled her eyes…_

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><p><strong>AN:** Well 2nd chapter it's shorter than the first so yeah...he. I decided this story would have 3 chapters the last one coming out really soon! The_** chapter names have a meaning** _let's see if you guys can guess what they mean. Review please!


	3. Black

_Darkness filled her eyes…._

Jeanne kept her calm composure and tried to feel her way to the bar stool.

'Rodin must be in the middle of fixing his light problem' Jeanne thought and added, 'great just GREAT everything comes undone on my birthday'

Jeanne was growing impatient as minutes went by. It was dark, it was freezing, and it was really boring. Just then Jeanne heard a gun aimed towards her and her reflexes told her to dodge.

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><p>The bullet barely missed but it grazed Jeanne's cheek and she felt a sting and a strange substance go across her face.<p>

"Who the hell are you?" Jeanne said harshly.

"My dear I heard you were looking for me, I can't turn down an invitation especially on this day" The stranger said in a seductress tone that Jeanne recognized.

"Bayone-"Jeanne started but was cut-off by Bayonetta shooting her in the dark.

The bullet missed but Jeanne got angry and shot the darkness blindly and she tried to locate where Bayonetta's position was.

"Shooting the air blindly won't do you any good I'm afraid" Bayonetta taunted as she launched herself in the air and landed behind Jeanne.

"I win…..Jeanne" Bayonetta softly whispered in Jeanne's ear.

_Admitting defeat, Jeanne closed her eyes and said "I never thought I would go down like this my friend"._

_Bayonetta pulled the trigger._

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><p>Expecting death, Jeanne slowly opened her eyes. Light was all she could see and strangely her Umbran sister looking at her with a warm smile.<p>

"What's going on here?" Jeanne asked dumfounded at the fact that she isn't death.

"There are supposed to be demons grabbing me and taking me to hell where I would spend all eternity in torture!" Jeanne exclaimed in more confusion.

Bayonetta laughed at Jeanne's confusion and explained her plan.

"My dear, this is what you call a surprise birthday party." Bayonetta started, "look Cheshire is here, Enzo, and Rodin. They were all part of my plan".

"B-but Rodin told me about your 'special offer'" Jeanne claimed.

"Yes yes, if you happened to find me I would be informed that all your birthday preparations are complete" Bayonetta said smiling.

"But…I thought I was dead!" Jeanne cried.

"I placed paint bullets in my gun to build up the moment" Bayonetta said.

"So, what now?" Jeanne asked looking around the room at the birthday cake, the guests, the karaoke machine and of course, the booze.

"We party of course, can't have a birthday party without singing and dancing" Bayonetta exclaimed dragging Jeanne with her to the karaoke machine.

The two witches were soon singing _Fly Me to the Moon._

_Fly me to the moon,and let me play among the stars_

_Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars_

_In other words, hold my hand_

_In other words, Darling kiss me_

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forever more_

_You are all I long for all I worship and adore_

_In other words, please be true_

_In other words, I love you_

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><p>Bayonetta danced with Luka after the song finished and Jeanne went to Rodin. Enzo was happily drinking free booze and the rest of the people well…they were having fun themselves and they loved the view of the two umbra witches.<p>

And so Jeanne had a happy birthday after all. Bayonetta how ever had to pay for making Jeanne look everywhere for her so, her punishment was, she had to kill more angels than Jeanne (which was kinda hard considering Jeanne was focusing her rage on the angels).

Happy Birthday Jeanne.

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><p><strong>AN:**** Well Happy 600th b-day to Jeanne she's my 2nd favorite witch on the game. The chapters' meaning was the song you hear when you fight Jeanne in the game named " Red and Black". It's a Bayonetta original sountrack (OST) so yeah, I found it fitting for Jeanne's b-day. Thank you for reading and commenting, hope you enjoyed.**


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